Beaches
by keroseneandgin
Summary: The beach. That same beach. It was always there wasn't it. Where everything came full circle. Where every single bad thing between two universes happens. It had to be here. She knelt by him, fists clenched and holding tight onto his suit jacket.
1. Chapter 1

**Beaches**

**Summary**: _The beach. That same beach. It was always there wasn't it. Where everything came full circle. Where every single bad thing between two universes happens. It had to be here. She knelt by him, fists clenched and holding tight onto his suit jacket._

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Doctor Who.

The beach. That same beach. It was always there wasn't it. Where everything came full circle. Where every single bad thing between two universes happens. It had to be here. She knelt by him, fists clenched and holding tight onto his suit jacket.

"Doctor," she whispered, her heart breaking in her chest and not for the first time. Tears stung in her eyes, shoulders shaking with sobs. "Doctor, no," she begged but she knew there was no turning back, no saving him. "The Doctor has been exterminated," a robotic voice said from behind her. She laughed bitterly and released one of her hands from his jacket to wipe at her face.

"Oh, that's what you think you stupid STUPID daleks," she growled, brown eyes burning with hatred as she turned to the dalek who shot her Doctor.

"He has died, he has not regenerated. It has been too long." She screamed in frustration, releasing her Doctor altogether and grabbing fistfulls of her hair.

"You really are thick!" She screams, standing up from the beach. The wet sand is still clinging to her jeans and there's salt on her face, in her hair and the taste of blood and sweat and his death on her tongue.

"The Doctor is dead," the dalek repeated, focusing on Rose. She laughed again, tilting her head back this time. Her hair clinging to her face and neck as her bitter laugh filled the air around them.

"You don't get it," she hissed, turning back to the dalek, "you've accomplished nothing. Absolutely nothing. You don't even know what you've done."

"We have killed The Doctor," the dalek responded, "now we will kill the woman he loves." That robotic voice was grating on her nerves.

"For all your talk of being superior," she spat, "for all your intelligence, your hatred, your design…" she laughed again, "you've accomplished only one thing here. One. And do you know what that is?"

"Explain," the dalek commanded.

"You've killed the man I love. The half human doctor that came here to this universe to be with me. To give The Doctor or at least part of himself a chance to take the slow path. To be with someone he loved and all you've done is kill him."

She sank down onto her knees again and looked up at the Dalek with resignation and peace falling across her features. Her lips parted and her eyes darkened slightly as she ran her fingers through her hair to remove the pieces stuck to her face.

"Explain," the Dalek commended again, its focus on The Doctor now. Rose screamed, covering her face with her hands.

"When you came to this world, I knew we had to stop you. We knew. He and I knew what you were. My family knew what you were. We weren't afraid of you. I've faced you plenty of times before," she began as she glanced over at where her Doctor lay on the beach, lifeless and pale as the ocean licked at his legs. She let loose an angry sob.

"But here we are you n' me. The last two left out of everything we've both done to gain the upper hand. You're it. And I'm it. And you think you've won," she laughed again, harsh and barking, "You haven't," she growled, raising from her knees again to approach the dalek and gaze right at it. So close she was almost touching it's metal body, "You'll never win. Not ever. Because all you did was kill HIM!" she was shrieking now, pointing at her Doctor's lifeless body wildly.

"The Doctor has been exterminated," the Dalek responded.

"Oh but it's not that simple is it?" She laughed, "It's never that simple when it comes to The Doctor! Trust me, I married him! IT. IS. NEVER. THAT. SIMPLE." Rose was in hysterics, chest heaving as her hands went back to her hair in frustration. She turned her back on the Dalek and took two shaky steps back towards her Doctor before whirling back around, spreading her arms open and smiling.

"You want to "exterminate" me, do it," she said, eyes dark, "I'm ready to die. You stupid dalek." She let her eyes slip closed arms still outstretched as she uttered her last words: "but know this dalek," she spat with malice, "he will find you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Beaches**

**Summary: **The beach. That same beach. It was always there wasn't it. Where everything came full circle. Where every single bad thing between two universes happens. It had to be here. She knelt by him, fists clenched and holding tight onto his suit jacket.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Doctor Who

She waited several long seconds with her arms still outstretched but the familiar metallic sound of the dalek crying out "exterminate" never reached her ears. Instead her head was filled with the familiar humming of the TARDIS. She dropped her hands to her sides and her breath caught in her throat. How could he have saved her even when he lay dead on that beach. How could she be here, safe when he was gone.

Her knees buckled and she reached for the railing she thought would be in front of her. Instead her fingers met air as she crumpled to the floor. Her eyes snapped open and she stared, mouth agape at the unfamiliar ship she found herself in. She swallowed hard as she scrambled back up to her feet. Everything was so different all around her.

She walked slowly and tentatively up to the console, staring in awe at how much cleaner it looked. There were no more coral struts and the jump seat was different, the grating had been replaced with a see through flooring. She stared in awe at the new colorful and brilliant interior of the TARDIS and then pinched herself on the arm _hard_.

She didn't wake up. She pinched herself again and again until her breathing started to become ragged and strained. Maybe she really _was _dead and this was either Heaven or Hell. She was alone inside of what she would have assumed a completely alien ship if she couldn't feel the hum or the TARDIS inside of her mind.

"Am I dead?" she whispered, her voice breaking on the last word. She had been completely prepared in that moment with the Dalek to be consumed by the complete and utter darkness she imagined it would be like to be completely void of life. However, she was not prepared for _this_ to be her afterlife.

She felt a familiar nuge inside of her head. The TARDIS was trying to communicate with her. Her brow furrowed as her breath caught and she gripped onto the new black rail she now knew was several inches farther away than the rail in her Doctor's TARDIS.

"Not dead…" she whispered, sudden realization washing over her as she gazed around the ship again, "but you've changed, _how_?" she asked, swallowing as she waited for the TARDIS to stroke her mind once more. But now the old girl was being completely silent. Rose growled in frustration and tried to communicate with the ship.

During her Torchwood days and all the brilliant years she spent with her Doctor—she felt a twinge of pain in her heart and her stomach did a flip as the memory of him lifeless on the beach came back into her head. She choked back a sob as she tried to focus on the psychic training she had received in order to communicate with the TARDIS.

"Where am I?" she asked aloud, mind reaching for the ship's own consciousness, "if I'm not dead where am I?" she bit her lip and combed her fingers through her hair, "is this purgatory?" The TARDIS responded with the equivalent of a laugh.

"No, you're right. That's ridiculous," she snorted then, "but if this isn't the afterlife and I'm not dead then is this the future? Am I somehow stuck in a futuristic version of you? I'm really not sure how this is possible—" then a thought struck her and she felt the tears sting in her eyes as she choked on her next hysterical words—"Why did you save _me_ but not _him_!"

She balled her hands into fists and trembled. Why was he dead and she was still alive. Why couldn't the TARDIS have saved them both?

"I'm not even important," she choked out, "he _needed_ you. I was _ready_ to die!" she slammed her fists into the console before sinking to the floor and sobbing violently.


	3. Chapter 3

**Beaches**

**Summary: **The beach. That same beach. It was always there wasn't it. Where everything came full circle. Where every single bad thing between two universes happens. It had to be here. She knelt by him, fists clenched and holding tight onto his suit jacket.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Doctor Who

In her grief she doesn't quite hear the foot falls approaching the TARDIS until they're at the door, jimmying a key in the lock. She sits up quickly on the floor and lets out a strangled cry. She isn't sure what's about to come through that door, but she knows she isn't ready to face it.

The TARDIS, as if sensing her distress, nudges her mind gently and she turns and takes off down the corridor just as the door is pushed open. Everything is so different and she is certain she'll get lost and that's why she's surprised when she finds herself outside of a very familiar looking door.

The door seems different from the ones around it, as if even though everything else changed this one stayed the same. She touches it gingerly and gasps as it slides open. The scene before her makes her heart ache.

"Oh my god," she whispered, walking into the room slowly, legs trembling with every step. Everything was just as she left it. With the exception of a jacket laid out on her bed with a TARDIS blue envelope placed on top of it.

She took a shaky breath and closed the door behind her before making her way towards the bed. Her heart thudded uncomfortably in her chest and she was beginning to find it hard to breathe.

She sat down on the edge of the bed to steady herself and touched her old jacket gingerly. She let her fingers drift across the cool fabric, remembering who she was all those years ago. Then she touched the edge of the envelope, staring at it for a long moment as if picking it up would make what was happening real.

It took several long minutes of sitting there, gazing at it sadly before she picked it up and gazed down at it. On the front in silver writing was simply her name written in good old fashioned English. She bit her lip and flipped it over, noticing that at the top on the flap the number "0" was written in that same silver pen. She blinked at that for a second before tearing the envelope open.

She wasn't quite sure what she expected to be inside the envelope, but staring down at the coordinates, the date and the time she realized she was _not_ expecting that. How could she be sure what time she was even in anyways. All she knew was that she was stranded inside of a very new looking TARDIS. That meant she could literally be anywhere in space or time. How was she supposed to somehow show up at these coordinates at this day in this year that was two years ahead of the year in her universe.

She sighed and laid the envelope down on her old bed before digging in her pocket and pulling out her phone. She was a little surprised to see that it still registered a signal, but her Doctor did do a lot of tinkering behind her back. She swallowed thickly and rubbed at her stinging eyes at the memory of him once again on that beach.

"How could I leave him?" She whimpered, dropping her phone to the bed and covering her face with her hands. The TARDIS nudged her gently, expressing some form of urgency at the coordinates in the letter. Rose laughed harshly, letting her hands fall to her sides before picking up her phone again and opening her GPS application.

"Fine," she whispered angrily at the TARDIS, silent tears rolling down her cheeks, "_fine_." She picked up the piece of paper again and typed the coordinates into her phone. She hit "find map coordinates" and waited as her GPS figured out the location.

"America," she hisses under her breath, glaring down at the phone. How the hell was she going to even manage that. She was stuck in a TARDIS in the future with god knows who her old Doctor was traveling with nowadays and for all she knew it was her from a different time line sometime after this stupid note thing.

She couldn't risk being seen, even if she couldn't exactly cause a paradox from within the TARDIS seeing _him_ again with someone else or even an older version of herself would just _hurt_ too bad. She didn't need another reminder of what she had left behind on that beach. Or rather, what she was forced to leave behind on that beach.

The TARDIS nudged her again and she let out a short frustrated breath. She wasn't ready to return to this world, not yet. She had spent so long in the other one. She had been dead too long here and the prospect of having to return to her old life was too painful. That was even if that were possible. It was highly likely that she was nowhere near her own time in either universe. There was an even greater chance she was stranded somewhere in outer space.

She sighed, frustrated as she felt the TARDIS nudge her again and the overwhelming need to leave came over her. She grabbed her phone, her old jacket and the TARDIS blue envelope and letter before huffing and exiting her old room. When she entered the corridor however, her Torchwood training kicked in and she moved stealthily against the walls.

"You're not gonna tell him I'm here, are you old girl?" She asked in a whisper as her fingers brushed against the wall she was sliding against. The TARDIS remained silent, but she assumed that was a good sign, considering she still led her to a very empty console room.

Rose held her breath as she stalked out of the shadows of the corridor and back to the well lit and very open console room. Still not convinced she was really alone, she slowly and carefully made her way towards the door of the TARDIS, all her senses on high alert.

When she gets so close to the door she can nearly taste her hopefully not on an unknown planet freedom she lets herself relax a little as she reaches for the door. However, the moment is very short lived as she hears a gallifreyan curse from behind her and she jerks in surprise.

Oh god, oh no, she thinks as she whirls around, blonde hair flipping around her face as she turns to look at the person who she really wished she didn't have to see.


	4. Chapter 4

**Beaches**

**Summary: **The beach. That same beach. It was always there wasn't it. Where everything came full circle. Where every single bad thing between two universes happens. It had to be here. She knelt by him, fists clenched and holding tight onto his suit jacket.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Doctor Who

Heart pounding in her ears, eyes watering, throat closed, she turns around to meet his eyes. But there's no one there. No one at all, the console room is still empty. She gets halfway through a relieved sigh when she hears him curse again, and sees sparks fly from the bottom of the console. She jumps at the sudden noise and turns back towards the TARDIS door, opening it and sprinting out into unfamiliar territory.

She glances around at her surroundings, heart still pounding and eyes wide. She would never get over what it felt like to go through that door into a new land. She was surrounded by mountains on all sides, but right in front of her was a huge beautiful lake and on the opposite side of the lake there was a beach. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to push back the memories of standing on another beach not too long ago, arms outstretched, waiting to be consumed by darkness.

Those thoughts she had on that beach had been selfish. Who else would stop the daleks if not her now that everyone else was gone. The rest of Torchwood had never dealt with them before, only cybermen and without Mickey and Jake and her mum or Pete she was the only one who could fix the problem. But now she was here because of the TARDIS, she was stuck here instead of saving her world from the Daleks.

She clenched her fists by her side and tried to blink back the frustrated tears pickling in her eyes and burning her nose. She would not cry, she had done enough of that already when the Daleks first came. She and her Doctor had put up a good fight, defending their world until the very end.

_Or until __his__ end_, she thought bitterly, _I'm still alive._ She turned back then and looked at the TARDIS in her brilliant blue, humming sadly as if she could hear Rose's thoughts. Rose closed her eyes, allowing a few tears to fall before shoving the blue envelope into her jacket pocket and pulling out her phone. It was just the distraction she needed right now.

She pulled up her GPS again, pressing the back button and choosing "walking directions to" and hitting "Go". She glanced around her again, hoping beyond hope that she was at least on Earth and somewhere close to where she needed to be. She would not brave sneaking back into the TARDIS and hitching a ride with _him_. She really didn't need the reminder of her Doctor back home. Not right now.

She glanced back down at her phone, and blinked in surprise. She was almost exactly where she was supposed to be. She just needed to get across the lake to the beach on the other side. She bit her lip. She could do that one of two ways, she could try walking around the huge lake, which according to her GPS would take hours (and according to her invitation, she didn't have that much time) or she could swim across and risk ruining her phone, her invitation and her clothing.

She wasn't much for being prompt, but in matters where _he_ was concerned, she always felt she needed to be. Especially if he had given her a specific time and place. He had never done that when they traveled together, so this much be important. She walked closer to the lake, slowly making her way down a hill towards the water, prepared to swim. He would just have to owe her a new phone when she made it across.

However, when she made it to the shore, there was a boat waiting for her. She fought back the urge to smile and pushed it out into the lake, wading a little in the water before climbing in and grabbing the oar and paddling it across to where the coordinates led her. It wasn't quite the center of the beach, but a little off towards the side in front of another hill and what looked to be writing in the sand.

She got the boat as close to the shore as she could and waded the rest of the way to the bank. She pulled the boat onto the shore with her, coating her wet trainers and jeans with sand. Then she stood, hovering over a note in the sand.

Cover your tracks

She stared at the note for a moment, dragging the boat farther onto the beach and reaching in it to grab the oar. She used the smooth wood to cover her footprints in the sand and pulled her phone out again, following the coordinates the last few steps to what looked like a small bush while continuing to use the oar to hide her tracks.

She sat behind the bush and checked the time on her phone. She still had ten minutes left. She sighed a bit dejectedly and gazed down at her cold and drenched feet. Then she slid her trainers off as well as her socks, setting them out to dry before she crossed her feet under her.

The wait was long, even though it was only ten minutes. It left Rose alone with her thoughts and them kept wandering back to the other beach with her Doctor and the Dalek and the death of her family. She couldn't help but blame herself. If only it had been her that died on that beach, her Doctor would have come up with a plan to save everyone by now. But no doubt that Dalek was running rampant through her universe.

But maybe that's why she was here. Her Doctor had been him after all, he could help her. He could help her save her family just as his TARDIS had saved her from death.

She checked her phone again, a bit impatient and noticed she only had three more minutes to wait. With a soft smile, she looked up and back out at the beach. Then, a bit far off she noticed something she hadn't before. There was a group of people, laying on a picnic blanket.

She briefly wondered if she should go join them when she saw a man stand up and make his way closer to the lake. She crouched a little lower and watched, following his gaze out to the water where an astronaut was wading towards the shore. She blinked several times in confusion and rubbed her eyes. Had she dozed off waiting?

She checked her phone again, only one minute left before turning back to the man and the astronaut. They were still there and now the man stood facing the astronaut, speaking to the person in the suit. She watched, heart pounding as she gazed back down at her phone for a brief moment.

Then she heard what sounded like a gunshot and someone screaming and her eyes snapped back up away from where her phone now told her she was out of time. She saw the man fall to his knees in front of the astronaut who shot him again, throwing him back a little ways. Then she saw something she thought she would never see again, golden light surrounding the man's hands and face.

"Doctor," she whispered, eyes wide. That was The Doctor. That man she hardly recognized was him. He had regenerated and now he was again.

She watched, almost defeated as he stared back at the people on the beach who had been at his picnic and then gazed in her direction. Mouthing what looked like "I'm sorry" before his gaze fell back on the astronaut.

He held his arms wide open in defeat before the astronaut who still had not left. And her breath caught in her throat. She knew in an instant what was happening here. Her Doctor had told her about this, about how his other self, this Doctor could still die if he was killed before he could regenerate.

She stood then, eyes filled with tears, the need to hide forgotten as she watched the scene unfold before her. As the astronaut fired another blast at him, cutting off his regeneration, she felt a scream rip free from her throat and she fell to her knees, overcome with grief once more. Why would the TARDIS bring her here to lose him all over again? To lose him and all hope of ever seeing her family again.

She fell to her side behind the shrub and curled in on herself, body shaking with silent sobs.


	5. Chapter 5

**Beaches**

**Chapter 5**

**Summary:**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Doctor Who

**A/N: **For KC3

She stayed huddled behind the shrub in a tight ball, knees pulled into her chest so tightly she couldn't breathe, for a long time. She tries desperately to keep her grief over the loss of both her Doctors in one day under control. She bit her tongue to hold back her sobs, terrified of being discovered by The Doctor's friends who were now huddled together around his body, sobs escaping unabashed.

The people at the beach were obviously people he trusted, but she didn't know what kind of man The Doctor had become without her. She had no idea if she could trust these new friends of his or not. They didn't seem violent, but she learned in her many years of Torchwood training that looks can be deceiving. So she opted to stay hidden until she could get her emotions under control and gain more information on The Doctor's new friends.

Then she heard it, the footfalls and hushed whispers of people approaching. She fought frantically to get her emotions under control and keep her breathing even. Then, once she could trust herself to be quiet, she slowly lifted herself up from the ground to look at what was happening. Her eyes and cheek stung harshly from where the sand stuck to her face and she wiped at it roughly as she watched The Doctor's friends approached, dragging his body, now covered in a white sheet, between them.

Rose stifled a gasp at their proximity, placing her hand over her mouth in surprise. Then, she watched, confused as they brought The Doctor's body, along with a red canister full of liquid sloshing loudly inside, to rest beside her boat.

Her stomach churned and her heart ached when she saw him, sheet bound to his corpse. She watched as two of his friends, a woman with curly sand colored hair and a man, the only man in the group, poured the liquid from the canister over the sheet containing The Doctor's body.

Her stomach churned again when she realized they were going to burn him, giving him the proper funeral her Doctor would never get to have. She choked a little, almost losing it as her mind drifted back to his body, lifeless on another beach in another universe. He was alone there, this doctor had friends. Her Doctor needed her, but she was _here._ She squeezed her hands over her mouth, desperately trying to silence the crazed, broken-hearted sobs threatening to rip free from her throat.

"River, help me," the man said, tearing her free from her thoughts of her Doctor on another beach without her. She turned and watched them then as the curly haired woman, who had previously been trying to calm the other woman with red hair who was still crying hysterically, disentangled herself from the other woman and moved to help the man. River, the woman with curly hair, made her way slowly to The Doctor's body and helped the man lift and place him into the boat.

They all stood there sadly for a moment, whispering words they couldn't hear to one another. Then she watched as the red haired woman dug into the pockets of her jeans and pulled out a matchbook. She tried in vain to light several matches, body trembling before she let out a loud, frustrated wail. Rose swallowed, knowing exactly how the other woman felt.

River frowned, watching as the red head threw the matches onto the beach and fell to her knees, defeated. Then, Rose watched as River retrieved the matches, lighting one on the first try and tossing it into the boat. The wood ignited quickly and the man and River pushed it out into the lake, watching as it cut through the surface of the water, making its way closer and closer to the center.

River and the man stood, the red haired woman between them, both with a hand on her shoulder, watching with silent tears streaming down their faces as The Doctor's body burned.

Then, she couldn't hold it in anymore. She lowered her body back to the ground, trying desperately to squeeze all the air from her lungs so she couldn't make a sound. Quiet sobs broke free from her throat anyway, despite trying to swallow her pain. She had just watched the man she loved die, been ripped away from him into another universe only to watch the other him die almost immediately afterwards.

She lay on the ground with her cheek pressed to the sand for what felt like years. She bit her tongue and wrapped her arms around herself, squeezing her knees into her chest, trying desperately to be silent.

In all her years of Torchwood training, they had never prepared her for this. Granted, her Torchwood training hadn't prepared her for much of anything she faced out in the field. Least of all what to do when the man she loved died before her eyes…twice. Torchwood was more of a learn-as-it-happens. At least for where she and The Doctor were concerned. Especially since she and The Doctor constantly found themselves in situations Torchwood had in no way prepared them for.

Her heart ached in her chest at the memory of her and her Doctor running hand in hand. He always knew what to say to make her feel better. She wished he was here now, to take her into his arms and tell her that this had all been some horrible nightmare; that this wasn't her reality, but here she was in an alternate universe and he wasn't coming back.

She bit her tongue to hold back a strangled cry as the realization set in. This was her reality now; two universes without The Doctor. She didn't know how they were going to go on, how they would survive. She had experienced first-hand what happened when The Doctor died in that alternate universe where she had to save Donna to save him to save the world. How could they survive without him?

The sun had begun to set when she could finally bring herself to sit up again. The sand from the beach clung to her skin and burned, but she found she didn't care. She glanced back down at the beach, expecting it to now be empty, but The Doctor's friends were still there. Her breath caught and she watched them as they gazed out at the lake, watching as the last of the flames from the boat slipped under the water, extinguishing her hope of ever seeing him again.

The Doctor was dead.


End file.
